1. When it hurts us to see your baby pictures, its not about you or your kids. Its about our deep desire to be a mother and it seeming like the whole world is getting the one thing we want but us.
2. All the "advice" you're about to offer to #1 isn't going to be helpful.
3. Just because we've yet to hold a baby of our own, doesn't make us any less knowledgeable about pregnancy or child care. As a matter of fact, for a woman with fertility issues its actually kind of an obsession.
4. It doesn't have crap to do with "God's plan". Stop it.
5. Don't ask a woman without children why she doesn't have them. There is one of two answers:
A: She doesn't want them (which is no concern of your's)
B: She can't have them (which is neverendingly painful to talk about with other people)
6. You don't get to preach to me about how I should be married to have kids. Glad that worked out for you and your (usually divorced) child's father, but that isn't my journey. An infertile woman who wants children will do whatever it takes to be a mom.
7. Your friend of a friend who "stopped trying and got pregnant" doesn't have shit to do with being infertile. It means she happened to have sex while she was ovulating, which many fertile women have no idea how or when it happens.
8. Hearing you complain about your brood makes our blood boil. Those are beautiful problems to have, be thankful for the messes and tantrums.
9. Stop telling me "don't worry, your pets will get a demotion as soon as you have kids". Seriously, fuck you. I've noticed many infertile women have animals they treat in a childlike fashion, me included. With that said, we know how much those animals have meant to us thus far, I don't see a demotion in anyone's future.
10. I'm sorry that our infertility keeps us away from your baby events. Truly, I am. Its not personal towards the friend, we're not trying to be shitty humans. I wish for no woman to know the pain of seeing every person they know getting the one thing they've always wanted and then being invited to see it in action. Birthdays, showers, pretty much all child centered get-togethers. Yes, its jealousy. Ugly, bright green jealousy. We know it and admit it. We also know you'll judge us for it.
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