Jayme's Journey

My journey this time around, started with a single decision. I'm done waiting for someone to tell me they are ok with me wanting to have children, when with PCOS time is truly of the essence. I'm ready.  Most people my age either have all the children they want, or don't want them at all. I chose a close friend as a donor. He has all the kids he wants to raise, but still wants to be familiar with this child. I want to be a mom with the father pretty much just not there. This is the exact set up I was looking for, and I can't wait to start trying.

I've been working extremely hard to advance my situation so that I could feel confident in my ability to provide for another life by myself. I'm almost there. Now is the time to start trying on my own. I have taken out a few credit cards to pay for the fertility aides I started taking. The fact that I got approved for more than one credit card is proof in its self how far I've come.  I'm telling you, fertility drugs, even the OTC aides, can get EXPENSIVE if you plan to try for more than a few months.  My stash as of current is good for about 3 months:

Oh yes, that is only 3 months worth of tries. I have more on the way to boot. That isn't even all of it. There are basal body thermometers, saliva testers, ovulation strips, pregnancy tests, stuff I have to drop into water and drink (that tastes exactly like licking a magnet). Not to mention the hardcore stuff I have on the way that is really going to give my body a shock.  I've started listening to fertility meditations and trying to learn fertility massage. I'm a nutcase at this point. A very determined nutcase.

I've visited the idea before, even going as far as to ask people to be donors. I never followed through because I was afraid of judgement from others. I am diving in with both feet now. I announced my intentions to my nearest and dearest, and they proved why they earned that place in my life. Everyone is very excited for me and it makes me feel even more hopeful and confident in my decision. The most common is "you're going to be a fantastic mom", and that does my heart good like nothing else.

Here's to hoping for 2 pretty little pink lines in my 30th year of existence.