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| SS, Razi, Odin, and Ali |
We've had a run of shitty news with the animals lately. First, there was Ali. And then Circuit. On Sunday night, our eldest had an episode. She started coughing, then vomiting, then wheezing so badly she couldn't breathe. We snatched her up and rushed to the after hours vet. The vet told us she had a collapsed trachea, fluid on the lungs, and one of the chambers of one lung didn't seem to be filling with air (but she wasn't positive on the last). She recommended we take Boo to our regular vet this week.
Boo is 12 years old as I mentioned before, so we've been preparing for health problems with her. It's inevitable in any living creature that ages. So... I took her in to the vet today. He studied her X-Rays from Sunday and the various other tests that were done, and doesn't think she has a collapsed trachea. She has a couple abscessed teeth at the very back of her mouth that have caused an infection. Her WBC was 20,000, which is pretty high. He wants her to go in for surgery first thing Monday morning to remove the abscessed teeth and any others that are beginning to decay.
That's the good news. The bad news is that she has mammary cancer. I told SS a couple of months ago that I thought something was wrong when she got two open sores on a breast. At the time, the vet told us to treat it at home and if it didn't improve in a couple of days, to bring her in. Well, the sores healed perfectly, so no one was really concerned. When he took a look at her today, however, he said she definitely has cancer in all of her mammary glands. He was pretty confident that it hasn't metastasized. But because of her age, he's not going to recommend chemo/radiation for her.
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| Boo and Razi |
When she heals from the dental surgery, he wants to go in and remove her uterus which will lower hormone levels and slow the spread of the cancer. If all goes as planned, he thinks she has another two to three years left in her. If the cancer grows faster, she has maybe a year.
I'm heartbroken. We just got SS well. My grandma just won her battle with cancer. Ali may have an immune disorder. Circuit just had surgery. And now Boo has cancer. It freaking sucks. We take one step forward, and two back.
We're looking at a $700 or $800 vet bill on Monday. And another $300 for the next surgery. And the vet highly recommends we go ahead and bring Razi in ASAP because her risk of this same cancer is really high, which is going to set us back another $200. We've also spent another $600 on the cats and Boo's visit Sunday night. If Ali does have an immune disorder, we're looking at another few hundred dollars there too. We've just gotten back on our feet financially after SS's illness. All these vet bills have wiped us out all over again.
So I don't know where that leave us where Bringing Home Baby is concerned. Everything we had to go toward treatment now has to go elsewhere. And we're running out of time. I'm only thirty, but we have birth defects, preterm births, and genetic problems in the family. I have the neuro issues to contend with. If SS and I want to have children, it really is now or never. Because who knows what next year will bring? At thirty five, the risks climb higher and higher.
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| Circuit |
I'm not bitter about getting Boo (or Ali) treatment. I'm not even bitter about adopting Circuit and what that's cost us financially. You don't take care of a family member when it's convenient, and neglect them when it's not. And the animals are very much a part of our family. Even Circuit. Obviously, we're going to do what we have to do to make sure they're healthy, no matter what. So that's not the issue here.
I'm sad Boo needs treatment at all. And I'm frustrated that our family keeps getting hit with this crap over and over again. And I feel like the Universe is doing its worst to make us prove we're ready to be parents and won't throw in the towel with the going gets tough. Rationally I know that's not the case. People and animals get sick. It's life.
But a break would be nice.
For as long as I've been an adult, I've worked two or three jobs at a time. I spent 7 years working two jobs, going to school full time, and writing/volunteering in my spare time. SS works just as hard as I do. We've never expected anything to be handed to us, and we've earned what we have through sheer perseverance and hard work. We don't spend a lot of money on frivolous crap. Our bills always come first. We donate to charity whenever we can. We volunteer frequently. And just when we get to a place where we're ready for kids... all hell breaks loose.
Really, Universe? Really?!
Ugh.
We're planning to keep our appointment with the RE on Tuesday to see what our options are and what we're looking at financially. Maybe it'll all work out and all this worry is for nothing. Hell, maybe my publisher and the world will love Ravished and it'll sell a billion copies. I don't know. And that's my problem. I don't know what's going to happen, and it's overwhelming.
So if you have a few prayers or positive thoughts in you, I'd appreciate them. For Boo. For Ali. And for our dreams of parenthood.
And if you have a few dollars to spare... please consider picking up one of my novels. You can find them (and purchase links) here. I can pretty much promise you, your purchase will help this author fulfill that dream of bringing home baby.
xoxo,
Ayden
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